is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
