naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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