i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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