It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
