i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
