I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize