Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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