Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
