how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
