making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
