The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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