I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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