Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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