So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize