I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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