I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize