Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
