i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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