The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
