Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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