found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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