Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize