so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
