Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
