So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
