My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
