I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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