Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
