Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
