Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
