i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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