i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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