My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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