I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
