U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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