Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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