so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
