Duck Duck Cougar?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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