i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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