Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
