erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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