TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize