I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
