i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize