This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
