Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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