We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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