Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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