So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
