In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
