I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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