she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
