So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
