i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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