Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
