We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
