I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
