get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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