And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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