You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
