Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
