My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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