okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
