She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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