did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
