Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had to cum in my sink.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
