Jerry, you need to find god
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
