first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
